


She Smiles

by liobi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Grimdark, Other, PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sadstuck, TW: Self Harm, chris is terrible, grimdorks - Freeform, like really, pale relationships, putting the grim in grimdorks, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-16
Updated: 2012-04-16
Packaged: 2017-11-03 18:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liobi/pseuds/liobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s funny that the language of the wind is the Eldritch tongue and that Rose is the only one on Earth who can understand you.</p><p>Ha Ha.<br/>Hee Hee.<br/>Hoo Hoo.</p><p>What a fucking riot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Smiles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angerliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angerliz/gifts), [t_ZM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_ZM/gifts), [roachpatrol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roachpatrol/gifts).



It’s nights like this one when you just have to land for a while no matter how much you might not want to. You’ve been floating over the Pacific for several days now and know that you’re about an hour’s flight from Seattle if you take your time; your sense of direction is infallible. It’s time to visit Rose, you decide.

If you were over Tibet or the island, you’d have to send Dave or Jade a message saying that you’d be touching down for a bit and might even be able to watch a Cage flick. Not likely, but maybe. You’d probably message them all the time, but battery life is precious, and you don’t touch down often.

With Rose, she always knows everything. Whether or not to greet you on the roof of her apartment complex, if she should bother telling Kristi (or was it Jill now?) if an old friend would be eating with them, maybe greet you with a hug or just tangle her hand in your hair (it’s getting long maybe you should get a haircut) and stare down at you knowingly with her eyes that no longer see anything.

As you approach the apartment building, you see a figure in a black hoodie and torn jeans waving expectantly at you. It’s decidedly a short visit. The first thing she does when you land is to pick you right back up again in a bear hug. She feels your sides shaking as you laugh and she starts chuckling as well. “It’s good to have you here, John.” Rose says, her milky-violet eyes practically shining when she finally sets you down. A squeeze on her arm tells her you feel the same way.

She’s the tallest out of all of you. At six foot three, she’s rather tall for anyone really. You’re next at just under six foot, Jade a little smaller, and Dave clocking in at a whopping 5’4”. Chicks dig it, he assured you.

When Echidna gave you all the option to reset the world, she warned you it would come with a price. Two if you kept your powers. You and the others had accepted, too tired to fight anymore, unable to watch anyone else die. Your guardians were enough, you wouldn’t lose each other. 

Rose’s price was her eyes, Dave couldn’t feel pain anymore, Jade had thankfully decided not to keep her powers and you, well, your vocal chords are now AWOL. You and your friends have other problems too. 

Jade was the first to notice anything. The night you all returned, none of you slept. The second, she stayed up and looked at the moon. The third, she watched movies. The fourth, she just sat in bed and twiddled her fingers. When sleeping pills didn’t work, Jade just sort of accepted it and tried to keep herself busy during the night, kind of sad that she wouldn’t be able to dream anymore.

Dave was always meticulous, something you all thought was just part of being a Hero of Time, but it changed. Nothing could be out of place for more than ten minutes, nothing could be crooked, things in the fridge were arranged by size and then category, and God forbid if there were ever any crumbs. Dave decided he wanted to live as a Tibetan monk when he flipped out and punched Jade for putting the TV remote on the wrong table, and Jade decided she was sorry but would very much like to go back to her island to live for a while.

You felt uncomfortable being on the ground the day you got back, but you decided you just weren’t used to the fact that you all recreated Earth and left it at that. After Jade left, one panic attack and an unexplainable weather phenomenon in the form of hundreds of tornados wreaking havoc on the state of Washington convinced you that it was very much nicer to be floating aimlessly in the stratosphere than to be on the ground for too long. You were still a god, which took away the need to eat. Everyone else gone left Rose in the apartment by herself.

And Rose… “As far as updates on the saga that is my life, Kristi is no longer romantically attached nor does she engage in Sapphic fornications with my person.” Rose flips down the hood of the jacket. She’s gotten a haircut since you last saw her, almost shaved to the scalp with the symbol of Light in the side. A reminder to her, much like your godtier pajamas that you still wear. “Two weeks straight, and she left on the ninth night.” Rose has the nightmares. 

Sometimes they’re not even there, she says. Sometimes she can close her eyes and have no problems. Others will have her wake up in cold sweats or with her throat worn raw from the screaming. The worst are when she sleepwalks. Waking up because she’s been stabbing herself with a glass bottle, because she feels the wind on her face and realizes she’s on the balcony, or because of the strange squawking noises that someone makes when you strangle them as they lie next to you in bed. That’s what happened to Jill, you remember now.

You’ve met many interesting people when you land. A perk of being the Heir of Breath is apparently being able to understand any language, no matter what. Italian is beautiful to listen to, Korean is fun, and you’ve learned that swans have the juiciest gossip during migration. You can understand them all, but you’ll never be able to talk back. Except…

The Breath fills your lungs and a language unfit for human tongue, something that would ruin your vocal chords if you still had those, slithers out of your mouth. Speech fit for horrorterrors.

“I’m fine.” Rose smiles, scratching at the Light symbol on her head. “She was losing interest anyways. She was going to end it next month actually.” 

You don’t like to speak like this. The language crawls up your throat and lingers on the back of your tongue like bad whisky, and the crawling sensation on your spine doesn’t go away for a very long time. It’s funny that the language of the wind is the Eldritch tongue and that Rose is the only one on Earth who can understand you.

Ha Ha.  
Hee Hee.  
Hoo Hoo.

What a fucking riot.

Rose turns and makes her way towards the door on that leads to the stairwell, guided by her powers rather than her eyes. “Netflix delivered Con Air yesterday, the popcorn is salted and buttered, and there is a fresh bottle of apple juice I have been saving for just this occasion. Won’t you join me?”

You’re hesitant at first, but it’s been six months and twelve days since you were last on the ground. You can stay for Con Air. 

\---

By the time the movie finishes, the popcorn bowl is empty and Rose has drawn a sharpie mustache on her finger and is quoting Swamp Thang and you have just laughed yourself off the couch. She helps you back up onto the sofa before she wraps her hand in your hair, holding your face as her dead eyes take you in. “Mister Egbert, I see it fit to remind you that this is your home as well.”

You smile, putting your hand under your chin and wiggle your fingers in some facsimile of a beard. Your fingers brush Rose’s chin and she grins.

“What’s this? You are not John Egbert but instead some strange, rogue wizard imposter sent by Dark Lord Calmasis to abduct me? I fear you shall have to put the abduction on hold dear sir, for your dashing beard is making me feel quite faint.” 

She has not untangled her fingers from your hair, and instead slowly bends over and plants a gentle kiss on your mouth. “Well then mister wizard, I shall have to entrust this selfish request to you instead of my dear friend Mister Egbert. For you see, I am going to have a very bad fit tonight, and I doubt Lord Calmasis would be pleased if I was delivered as a wounded mess.”

Your beard becomes a hand again, and you squeeze the one Rose has left in your hair. “I’ll be fine, John.” Her smile slips to something a little sadder, and maybe slightly scared. “I just need someone to wake me up.”

You yawn, realizing that you are actually pretty tired, and agree. Rose detangles her hand and goes back to the master bedroom to change. You take the hood off the godtier shirt while you wait. When the door opens, you enter to find Rose in purple plaid pajamas.

It doesn’t take long for both of you to fall asleep, and it feels like only a moment before you wake to Rose pinning you down, her hands crushing your windpipe. You stare up at her calmly, her skin ashen, her face contorted into an expression of pure rage, and horrorterror tentacles already waving around her body. You’re the Hero of Breath, you don’t need to breathe and Rose knew that.

Your powers fly both of you into the shower which you turn on with only hot water. It’s going to scald you a little, but it feels like your neck is getting frostbite where Rose’s hands are touching and you know the most important thing is to get the grimdark off of her and hot water seems to be the best way. By the time she comes to, your neck is darkening in a nasty bruise and the water is almost cold as it pours onto both of you.

She just sits there in the tub, the sightless eyes of a seer staring at your face. 

And then she smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't knowwwwwwww
> 
> I'm procrastinating homework.  
> and then this happened.  
> I'm sorryyyyyyyy
> 
> Putting the grim in grimdorks yup that's me.
> 
> (To liz, Taz, and roach, happy 4/13 three days late whoops)


End file.
